As requested by anon. :)
Orihime wants to learn how to be a villain! You know, just to see what it would be like. For some reason, all of the espada have agreed to help her. Each of the espada will give her a lesson in something villain-related. What lesson will each of them teach?
1. Grimmjow: How to do an evil laugh
Grimmjow: Remember: use your diaphragm.
Grimmjow: Show plenty of teeth.
Grimmjow: And then laugh like you’re soaking in the blood of your enemies!!!!
Orihime: HA HA HA HA HA HA
Grimmjow: Have you done this before?
2. Aaroniero: How to emotionally manipulate people
Aaroniero: Me, I like to turn into someone they loved and then guilt them into killing their friends.
Aaroniero: You’ll have to do something slightly different, I guess.
Orihime: Oh! So, like, I could point out that you’re the only non-vasto lorde espada and the weakest (since Yammy is secretly strong) and that everybody talks smack behind your back!
Aaroniero: Well you don’t have to be mean.
3. Nelliel: How to torment your colleagues
Nelliel: Being a villain doesn’t just mean that you target your enemies. Anybody can do that.
Nelliel: To be all that you can be, villain-wise, you have to torment your colleagues too.
Nelliel: Personally I like to find something they are secretly ashamed of (like being weaker than a woman) and then just, you know, never let them forget.
Orihime: Hmmmm…..so that would be like getting Ishida a “ALMOST the Last Quincy” shirt?
Nelliel: You’re weirdly good at this.
4. Ulquiorra: How to give ultimatums
Ulquiorra: Threats are easy. Ultimatums are where the true villain shines.
Ulquiorra: The secret is not to give any choice.
Ulquiorra: Just state what you want.
Orihime: I DEMAND that you give me a high-five right now!
Ulquiorra: We will continue working.
5. Barragan: Minions
Barragan: Villains should not care about their minions.
Barragan: Insult them, abuse them, send them to their deaths…
Barragan: And don’t give it another thought.
Orihime: Can I make them sandwiches for the road?
6. Szayel: How to make traps
Szayel: If you want to be more than a thug, then you need to show off how much more intelligent you are than your enemies.
Szayel: Personally, I think traps are the best way to do that.
Szayel: A good, elaborate trap shows off your intellect and takes care of your prey!
Orihime: Can there be lasers?
Szayel: I like the way you think!
7. Nnoitra: How to be known
Nnoitra: If people haven’t heard of you, then you suck as a villain! You want EVERYBODY to know your name!
Orihime: So should I put up posters?
Nnoitra: Villains do NOT put up posters.
Orihime: I have a glitter pen though.
Nnoitra: NO GLITTER PENS
Orihime: So you’re more of a paint guy?
Nnoitra: WILL YOU DROP THE POSTER THING
8. Luppi: How to taunt
Luppi: Taunting your enemies is very important!
Luppi: It has to be classy, yet intimidating!
Orihime: Yeah, when Grimmjow killed you without any taunting, it was super lame!
Luppi: We will not be talking about Grimmjow!!
9. Zommari: How to seize opportunity
Zommari: Basically, if you see an unconscious enemy, you should just kill them.
Zommari: It’s an efficiency thing.
Orihime: Wow! That IS evil!
Zommari: No. Efficient.
10. Halibel: Dealing with an evil boss
Halibel: The thing about working for an evil organization is, your boss is also evil.
Halibel: That does not always create the best working environment.
Orihime: So basically you want to make sure you’re the HEAD villain?
11. Yammy: Crushing your enemies into powder
Yammy: I don’t really get how the rest of this shit is important.
Yammy: Just crush your enemies into powder!
Orihime: Um I don’t have a secret giant form.
Yammy: And you want to be a villain??
12. Starrk: How to sleep at night
Starrk: Some people find that it is hard to sleep at night, after doing evil all day.
Starrk: Not me. I sleep super well.
Orihime: Wow! How?
Starrk: I think the secret is to die inside.
You can go fuck yourself.”
Are you mad now, baby?”
hey this is your friendly reminder to never apologize for your muse being a sexual creature, or for them NOT being a sexual creature. don’t ever apologize for not writing sexual scenes for whatever reason, and don’t ever apologize for doing so and liking it! sex is apart of human nature ( including the lack of interest in it ) therefore you never have to apologize for incorporating it into your character however you chose to.
be unapologetically non-sexual.
be unapologetically sexual.
And give you a free pass? You must be desperate.”
So desperate that I have chosen you”
C’mon. Don’t be shy.(?)
Let me see your pussy.